Wednesday, 29 January 2014


When I put my gi on tonight I suddenly noticed that I could tie the side-tapes up with no gaps. When I first started wearing it at the end of September I thought I'd made a terrible, god-awful mistake in ordering the size I did, and it was honestly embarrassing (not that I told anyone that). The pants were too tight round the waistband (as ever; I am an exceptionally stubborn apple-shape), the jacket gaped open over what I mentally refer to as either "my thundering great sports bra" or "my great white breastplate of doom". The gi was so stiff and uncomfortable - and let's not think too hard about the fact that I couldn't loop the belt twice around my waist and fasten it properly. Eldest's gi had already become soft and pliable from six months of washing, though, so I sucked in the flab and hoped mine would relax too.

I never for one moment contemplated the idea that I might shrink to fit because I know taking that mental highway does me no good. I don't have an eating disorder but my thinking about eating can become disordered, if you see what I mean. Emotional (i.e. "had a bad day, stuff face") and defiant eating (as in "how dare you tell me I can't have cake - I'm having TWO slices!") are crutches I'm working hard to be rid of. So that's why a properly-fitting gi took me by surprise tonight - I've achieved it without falling down any mental rabbit holes. I know I've lost about 4lbs over my 26 days of Janathon so far, but I don't put a lot of stock in scales. I think I can be pretty pleased, though and hope to keep it up.

There was a lot to be proud of in class tonight too. Sensei had done a demo at one of the local schools last week  - not Eldest's, but a demo is how she got started. No less than fourteen new under-tens and one as young as four showed up tonight - mostly boys but a girl here and there too; the class expanded by a third! The new kids were really well-behaved - admittedly most of them had parents sitting around the edge of the dojo, but still, it's easy to get over-excited when you're having fun and it's all new. All of the regulars were properly on their mettle tonight too - good loud responses, no slacking on the warm-ups, and all of us performing our kata together in front of an audience of new kids and parents was absolutely brilliant. We were AWESOME, I tell you. My punches felt great and my kata felt like it flowed really nicely. Sensei even did a black belt kata for us, which was a rare thing to see.

Our final bow, otagai ni rei, to the whole class felt overwhelming to me: fierce and proud of all of us. It's no wonder our club logo is a tiger.