Sunday, 5 July 2015

Pre-Bala Jitters



Forgive me, fellow sporties, it has been almost two months since my last post. Not uncoincidentally, that's exactly how long it's been since I last ran, too. Swimming took over all of my time with increasingly longer hours in the pool (thanks to rubbish weather meaning I haven't been able to clock up enough hours outside), and karate stole all of my brainspace until the last two weeks, when Eldest and I earned our purple belts at last. Small One requires more kata practice and we hope she'll grade to red next time.





I am pretty relieved grading is done now. As ever I spent weeks winding myself up and not being able to take in adjustments, only to find it was pretty much up to requirements on the day. I'm now enjoying learning the new kata, heian godan, which is coming together more quickly than I expected despite lots of new skills and a jump that I'm hilariously bad at so far.


Between cramming for grading and constantly upping my swimming distances, me, Eldest and a handful of Bears spent a Saturday getting our BCU1* kayaking awards in order to prep for some of us being kayak cover at Bala. I'd completely forgotten how much I enjoyed it and thankfully it all came back so quickly that I was very confident by the end of the day. Eldest picked it up like a champ and we're looking forward to more adventures at Trafford Water Park and beyond over summer. Can't speak highly enough of the organisation and tuition from Peak Pursuits - they really were super. And I can't wait to be back on the water!


In terms of swimming I followed the Dart 10k training plan quite faithfully up to the largest swim at five miles, which unfortunately fell three days after grading, two days after a day kayaking and swimming, and a day after I had a very painful sports massage (not the physio's fault, I was just very knotty!). I had to split the swim across two sessions, and by the time I'd finished that, then been in school for two days, up at 5am for a client meeting in London on Friday and prepping Youngest's 5th birthday party in the cracks of time between, I was exhausted. I had an absolutely horrible swim at Quays on the Saturday - didn't even manage a mile due to my own patheticness - and it was only because some of my awesome swimming friends lifted my spirits afterwards that I was able to write it off as "the crap dress rehearsal before the main event". Honestly. I'd forgotten to eat, couldn't find my anti-fog, and I'd smashed my finger in a car door on Friday so that really hurt too. Heart and head gave up and body just whimpered along behind. That really doesn't happen often and was quite depressing.

Following that, my head's been in a pretty bad place all week. Everything hurt and I couldn't bear even the thought of the scent of chlorine. So I haven't been in the pool for nigh on two weeks. Meanwhile I'm fretting about how my dear Rach, also swimming the 10k, is going to manage after a cycling accident; and sharing "fed up" grumbles about overtraining with Cathy. I honestly think I fell out of love with swimming for a bit there, and a feverish virus-thing a couple of days ago really didn't help.

Thanks to Great Manchester Swim (the wetsuitedness of which led me to be worrying about Cathy overheating as the temperatures shot up!), there was no USWIM session at Quays this week, so I had to drag my reluctant carcass over to Sale. I like Trafford Water Park well enough - in some ways it's prettier than Quays, though I could do without the weed. But I'm used to Quays, it's my home and I missed the people and the organisation. I missed the feeling of safety I get from knowing how it all works and how I work on that course and in that water. I'm not familiar enough with Sale yet to avoid the neck strain from having to sight a lot, and I don't really like the schlep back to the changing room without my glasses, especially in the rain (hot showers are a luxury I don't need, either!). Instant access to my kit is something I love about USWIM's set-up.

Moaning aside, it was decent swim, as these things go - a bit on the slow side, which I put down to sighting. Very sunny and warm at the beginning, with the water between 17-20oC and flat as a millpond. That is, until I set out on my third lap, when the wind and rain suddenly made life about as lumpy as it's ever been all season. I had to have some firm words with myself about how I've trained all year in wind and chop this bad, and that got me round until I could clearly see the safety boat chasing everyone in. I wouldn't normally be bothered by rain but we've had a lot of lightening over the last week and it could have been scary out there.

Since rain stopped play, I awarded myself a sherbety ice-cream, then came home to slob about in my Great Manchester Run t-shirt, slightly more optimistic about the swim itself and slightly worried about an ache in my right arm that won't go away...



Wednesday, 13 May 2015

Great Manchester Run(ner)


I DID IT!!!

Well, duuuuuh, of course you did, I can hear a few people saying. And a bit "well, duh" from me, too. Once I'd forked over that money there was no way I was coming home without a finisher's pack, was there...I'm too stubborn for that!

 Mah shiny

I've learned an enormous amount. The event was absolutely bloody huge, completely unlike even the biggest swims I've done. The crowd, the finding my way around beforehand, the fretting about the weather - these things led me to be anxious, far too early, too far forward in my wave and definitely overdressed (to be fair, I wasn't the only one shedding a wind jacket after 2km!). I really wasn't prepared for the noise from the entertainment/supporters en route, either. I often run at night on fairly deserted roads with just my MP3 for company, so getting any kind of focus was desperately difficult in places. And of course as primarily a long-distance swimmer, silence is kind of important to me!

I (naturally) didn't put in quite enough training to consider it a complete success - even having run virtually the entire distance bar 10m in training, I did walk a significant chunk of the third kilometre, and off-and-on from 7km. Despite the walking, it was still a PB - 1.26.08, not stellar by any means but at least improvements will be easy to see! Thankfully I don't appear to have particularly aggravated an injury I picked up a couple of weeks ago, probably at the karate tournament (for which I won a shiny silver in the kumite, by the way). Nor have my shonky Achilles given out. I did, in fact, sprint over the line, mostly because I saw my previous PB coming up on the clock and I was trying to beat it - turns out my TomTom disagreed with my timing chip by about a minute, so I was well under. I'm glad I did, though, as Eldest spotted me ("Mum, your ponytail was flying!"), and I was so hoping for that. I want my girls to see that sport is normal whatever your age or size.

I didn't run this race for charity, I ran it to prove a point to myself. The point's changed a number of times during training, and I'm not really sure what it is any more. Partly it was to prove that I could stick to a commitment - that shouldn't really be an issue, given the rest of my life's record, but I wondered if I could stick to something I didn't enjoy at first, and do it til I got better. Turns out I could.

I also wanted to prove that I really could #sufferbutNEVERsurrender and truly earn my Team Bear colours, as it were, since HQ were kind enough to get a vest to me in time for the day. Swimming is easy (stop laughing at the back, you triathletes ;-) - ok, I struggle to get faster, but I'm like a wind-up toy - plonk me in a lake and I'll see you on the other side. At least, that's my attitude: Bala will test that in July. For running I really have suffered - it's painful, there have been days when I've cried on my way out of the door, days I've defiantly taken a nap instead of running, days when literally every wheel on my little red wagon has fallen off. There have been really big changes in my life work-wise (i.e., I'm actually doing some work/study/training every day now), and rounds of illness for us all, plus changing commitments to other sports, so making time has been challenging. But whilst I suffered on the course on Sunday, there was no way I was giving up.

I think I did earn my colours this weekend. I worked for it, and I got what I worked for - a PB that could have been even quicker, a shiny piece of bling for my box, and some pretty serious proud faces from people who know what I've worked through since I had this whole crazy idea.


Cathy promised me cake if I finished. IF?! 
Also, how mad is my hair. I look like Einstein's younger, slapheadier sister.

Bit of a hot button topic going on at the moment - does this now make me a runner? Opinions vary on the very definition. My opinion for me is that yes, I am now a runner.

Not because I completed a race (I've done that before).

Not because I ran most of it.

Not because I enjoy running. I still don't like it, but I don't fear it any more and that's actually HUGE.

Not because I can now tolerate my body in capris and a vest. Why yes, I have had a problem showing my bare arms and legs, and covered-but-wobbly belly to the general public. This is despite being able to strip to a swimsuit and jump in at a moment's notice, ask random strangers to zip up my wetsuit or be completely blase about the existence of free-range nipples in change tents around the UK.

Not because a friend who is a multiple GNR-veteran innocently asked what my next event was, and just grinned when I said I'd got another 10k in November plus a 5k my Eldest is doing as well.


I'm a runner because I can't imagine my life without it.

That's all.

And I don't give a rat's ass what anyone else thinks.

Friday, 24 April 2015

Laundry


James made me giggle earlier this week with a great blog post about life as a sporty couple. I nodded along at quite a few points, but life as a sporty family is a different kettle of fish again - and that kettle mostly involves laundry and passing each other like ships in the night. Here's what our week often looks like:

Monday: School swim for Eldest, sometimes a run for me (one load of kit) or yoga, karate for me in summer (whites-only wash then iron). Youngest has PE in school (no kit to wash)

Tuesday: Short pool swim for me (wash kit with normal load), sometimes a run for me. Eldest has PE in school (no wash til half-term)

Wednesday: Karate for Eldest, Youngest and me, (load of whites then iron), run for DH (different load)

Thursday: After-school swimming lessons for Eldest & Youngest, longer pool swim for me (one complete load of swim kit)

Friday: Run for me (wash kit with school uniforms)

Saturday: Karate for both kids and me in winter, or OW swim kit in summer (whites load then iron, plus Robie etc in separate wash; dry & check wetsuit for repairs if used), sometimes also my running kit and Eldest's occasionally

Sunday: Run for DH, god knows what else as sometimes there are karate seminars or extra swims.


And I have to keep on top of all the non-laundry kit too - four pairs of goggles, caps, three sets of sparring mitts & pads & gumshields & belts, MP3 players, TomTom and Poolmate, goggle demister, earplugs, snacks, shampoo, water bottles, gels, memberships, licences, attendance cards...sheesh. The cycle is endless and the only way I keep it all together is by immediately reloading each person's bag as soon as the kit is dry, having duplicates, and paying for as much as possible in advance - or keeping a sharp eye on having enough cash available to pay various instructors. I also need to keep up with the endlessly-changing timetables for three or four pools, cherry-picking the free sessions as much as possible (we are very blessed with these in Blackburn!).

What does it mean for us as a family? For the girls, it's actually not too bad - it's quite structured; we do karate mostly together so there's lots to talk about, and DH gets to watch their progress through the summer period. There's a quick handover from Mum to Dad on Thursdays as I head straight out from their lessons to hit a known quiet session at a more distant pool. Eldest fits in three music practice sessions a week for both instruments as well, plus homework, and this will get more complicated as Youngest gets older and develops her interests in different ways too.

As partners it does mean DH and I never get to train together as someone always has to be there for the girls. This is no bad thing, really, as his running pace is a lot faster than mine, and since my work/college hours are less than a full working week, I can do a fair bit of my training flexibly on week days and leave him free to train in an evening or Sunday morning. We also don't need two lots of expensive kit and can share a GPS watch, emergency kit, running lights etc.

The difficult bit is attending events, either to compete (such as it is, since neither of us are exactly top athletes!) or support. Many of my events this year are falling on a Sunday or over a full weekend, which steals his Sunday morning training and we have to move everything around to accommodate it. It also means I can't respond as much as I'd like to when people say "ooh, come and swim at Pickmere/Gaddings/Budworth/Copenhagen", because it's not just my schedule I have to consult, but three other calendars! It's often a negotiation as delicate as UN peacekeeping to fit everyone's training around extras.

Also we kind of eat like horses and the rare evenings we get that aren't dominated by training, preparing kit for the next day, study or work tend to involve beer, popcorn and a colossal amount of telly...but we're mostly having fun, mostly fairly fit, and we have an enormous number of friends we've met through sport. Life is pretty good!

Thursday, 26 February 2015

Baby, it's cold outside (and we're going swimming)

I
would rather jump
and know
the freeze of the water,
the shake of my bones,
and the stinging
of my skin
than spend my life
clinging to the rails
and staring down 
at the current
below.

- Tyler Knott Gregson


So Janathon ended with a whimpering plank each day as life just got too icy, virus-y and busy to do anything more with. February has been incredibly difficult - a planned operation for DH which fell at the same time as both girls attempting to scare the living daylights out of me with bug after bug, leading to almost a whole week off school for Youngest and a fairly miserable time for Eldest. I also caught one of the bugs and a not-at-all fun time was had by all. I owe a great debt of thanks to the friends who kept me afloat. Then there was a tired, gentle half-term we managed to fill with a little swimming, a little cinema and a lot of cuddles.

We are recovered. Some training has been missed, some not even started. Spring is coming, though, and now events can be booked, plans made and fun things looked forward to. The year's starting to take shape, starting this weekend with a Polar swim at Salford Quays on Saturday for me, and special seminars with Sensei Matt Price on kata and point-scoring kumite for me and both girls on the Sunday. Youngest is now working on becoming a Cadet Leader, too, and doing a fantastic job of it for a kid of only four and a half. She won't be able to join the rest of the cadets for some time as she's simply not physically big enough or skilled enough yet, but she has confidence in bucketloads. I'm quietly looking forward to tournament in a few months - my kata's come on very nicely in the last week or two, though I know my kumite needs work. I can hope for a June grading, too, though of course that's never a certainty til you get the official papers.

I'm completely giddy about Saturday's swim, and there's another at the end of March before the season kicks off properly. I have just one swimming event booked at the moment - the Aspire Night Swim in Liverpool in October - but things are starting to take shape for Bala 10k, which I guess is my "A" event this year. That does involve learning to kayak again, something I've not done since I was 14, so here's to another new string to the bow, as it were. USWIM series races are also pencilled into the calendar, and I'm open to being persuaded into other swims if they're affordable and reachable. I'd certainly like to get to Gaddings this year, and up to the Lakes even for a paddle. But mostly I plan to hang out at Quays a whole lot.

For my own curiosity and the edification of fellow and new Quays swimmers, here is a graph for your delectation. I went back through my training logs, which start in mid-2012, and noted all the water temperatures I'd recorded.

I just thought it was really interesting to see 2013's slow temp rise and sharp peak (that being the only time a Great Manchester Swim has been wetsuit-optional) vs 2014's much warmer start (relatively speaking!) but flatter summer period. Unfortunately I didn't get to do winter swims in '12 or '13, but I'd like to keep updating this for the next few years. Given that it's reported as already around 7oC, it's to be hoped the 2015 season will be more like '14 than '13 and I'll be able to get some good distances in early on. I'm getting to that really difficult stage of winter training when the coached sessions are coming to an end and my motivation to mix it up with the public is at an all-time low.


I haven't been able to take on running particularly yet. The kids are still excited about IronKids in Summer, and I've found a place we can run laps on a decent track for not much money, which I think will be safer and more motivating for them (since there's a playground right next door and it's where we go for them learning to ride their bikes) than trying to slog up and down our hills.

I'm going to be needing to get my finger out, though. Because there's this:


You have successfully entered The Morrisons Great Manchester Run 2015 

 
Oh, shit.

Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Polar Bears Go Swimming

...but I could have done, and will do, better in future.
 
This, I hope, will be one of those "what went wrong" posts, rather like Patrick's Windermere post last year - mostly for my own record so I don't make these mistakes again, but also in the hope that it helps someone else. Because even though nothing actually went wrong, it definitely could have gone better. It's a little embarrassing to admit that this swim really bloody hurt and there was next to no cold water euphoria. I'm a bit annoyed with myself because if I'd done everything right it's quite possible I could have gone around the buoy or even twice around it. Still, everything is a learning experience, right?



Welcome to Boundary Water Park in Cheshire, a place which is difficult to find since apparently signage is optional, but so pretty it's worth the trip. I'd swum here once before in high summer, when the weeds were just a week or so away from making it impassable. It's gorgeous and I'm keen to bring the kids down for a paddle when it warms up. I knew a few things about it: it's generally easier to just strip off and get in than use the changing portakabin; it's an easy, sandy entrance and exit; and the whole lake is shallow so it would be much colder than Quays. 

Reported temp on the day: 2.8oC. Cold enough for an ice mile - and whilst I'll never attempt that myself, I am delighted to congratulate Hazel Killingbeck, the youngest Ice Miler in the world, on hers! The lake had been down as far as 0.4oC and frozen a few days previously, and although we had a good chuckle about the ice bath USWIM provided, it was definitely colder out there (I stuck my arm in to test it, you see. I'm clever like that).

We hung around for a while, pretending to socialise but really working up the courage to get in (well, I was, anyway). There weren't many of us - maybe eight in skins and half a dozen in suits? I wasn't really paying attention to numbers. Eventually we stripped off and there was mistake number 1 - we should have got straight in instead of mucking about doing silly photos like this:

Spot the Team Bear polar bears! And yes, Marylyn, the lady in blue is so determined not to miss out that she has a plastic bag over her wrist-cast. Nothing short of heroic! <3

It was a lot of fun and I don't begrudge it, but it was a contributing factor, I think, because although I'd meticulously organised my bag and heap of clothes beforehand, I knocked it all over putting my glasses away and didn't sort it through again before getting in because I wanted to join in with the silliness. This was an idiotic thing to do because virtually every item of clothing I was wearing was black, so it took extra time to find everything in the right order when I was getting dressed. I will wear coloured things in future!

Mistake number 2 was forgetting to anti-fog my goggles. AGAIN. I always remember at the last minute, hope it'll be ok, and it never is. I should know better because foggy goggles make me very anxious and that's never good.

Getting in was ok. I'd considered putting on my neoprene socks - they'd been a big help getting into the sea because I really hate scrubbing sand off afterwards, and I knew it was a sandy, squishy entry at Boundary. But it was much better than I expected and I don't think I needed them after all. So I'm only counting that as a half-mistake because it was a distraction, not a difficulty.

Let us be honest: this was very, very cold. It's five degrees colder than I've ever done in skins. Five degrees difference is an awful lot. It really hurt; spiky, stabbing hurt - and yet the bit that's usually so awful, when the water laps at your kidneys - that wasn't so bad. Since I was distracted by trivial bits and pieces, my overwhelming feeling was that I just wanted to get it over with, and that's when I made mistake number three, the biggest and potentially most dangerous - I didn't tip the back of my head into the water. Nor had I done my usual ritual of wetting my neck and face: since there was no way I was getting my face in the water, especially not with a head cold and rapidly disappearing voice (which, let's be fair, was because I was up half the night nattering to Rach!), it didn't seem to matter. 

That was STUPID. I didn't give my brain the "cold water is coming" signal, and so my breathing didn't settle down at all, it was too fast. I set off with a rapid breastroke (not my best stroke!), determined to touch the buoy and get back again before anything went wrong. I'd turned around and was heading back before the rest of the group had reached the buoy and that was a bit sad, really, we usually do this together. I also hadn't set my watch off, which was another daft thing to have done - both distracting and potentially dangerous, though given we had good support and were close to the shore, it wasn't essential like it is for a solo sea swim. Another rookie half-mistake.

I got out ok thanks to a helping hand (you almost always need a helping hand out of the cold!) and dove thankfully into my shiny new DryRobe. That was brilliant. If I hadn't had that I'd have suffered a great deal more from the delay caused by rummaging through my clothes. However, I wasn't shivering at all, I had no giggles (a dead giveaway for being at my limit - later discussion revealed everyone has a different "tell", how funny!), and I really don't think my core temp had dropped a great deal. I was in less than ten minutes from first footing, anyway, and covered 50m. Which, it occurs to me, now means I could take part in a number of Chillswim events next winter, having proved to myself that it is possible.

Once dressed and with coffee and cake securely in my mitts, I finally started to smile a bit. Ok, a lot.

Three Bears: Rach, Cathy and me. 
We are silly and made of cake, love and a healthy attachment to pain.

USWIM provided for us famously, as ever - there was a fire to huddle round, and Cathy and Marylyn even went in the ice-bath straight afterwards (Cathy, an OWS in her first season, is now so tough she sheds ice-cubes when she takes her cossie off!). The coffee flowed freely, there was cake, hot sandwiches, music...everything you could have wished for. We ate a lot of cake, chattered to everyone and it was a great day, in the end. It was a good achievement, I learned a lot from it, and we had an excellent natter with a Mersey Mermaid we're keen to hook up with for river swims later in the year. And there was cake. Did I mention that?

There's one last mistake.

I'm reading Cmdr Chris Hadfield's An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth at the moment. It's a fantastic book; he writes warmly and engagingly and I'd recommend it to anyone, particularly those of us in the endurance sport community and especially to anyone taking part in relay or team events. I was standing in the kitchen making the tea with my Kindle reading to me, and I started laughing as I recognised a scenario straight from swimming. He's describing a training simulation of an accidental splashdown in the Soyuz capsule. There are three astronauts: himself; Max, a cosmonaut on his first command; and an astronaut named Andre who's as big as you can get and still fit in a suit. It's summertime, they're wearing pressure suits which need to be changed for water safety suits, and it's getting ridiculously hot in the cramped little capsule...

"Just when the heat felt the least bearable, I fake-shivered and said "Brr, it's cold!". It provided not only comic relief, but, for whatever reason, a bit of physical relief as well, so we all started doing it and for a glorious moment or two almost believed we weren't bathed in sweat."

What did we forget to do this swim? Not one of us said "eeee, it's TROPICAL!", not in my hearing anyway. Nobody flat-out denied the cold, no singing of Club Tropicana. We didn't even have the now-traditional War of the Roses over whether Lancashire or Yorkshire lasses can get in first (though I must point out I often win that one :P and hopefully that will set the scene for next time!) . We didn't do anything to shift our psychological state from fear to respectful mastery of the cold, and that temporary loss of humour, I think, made all the difference to me.

Monday, 26 January 2015

Janathon Week 3

 Third time's the charm?

The derailment continues. Thundersnow is apparently a thing, and it happened to us a week last Friday. Except here being here, it wasn't snow, it was 2ins of hail, which promptly went into the usual thaw-refreeze cycle. So running was right out because I don't have any ice skates and it was patchy enough to make YakTrax impractical. I had to wear hiking boots for the school run most of the next week as it then snowed on top of it. I also haven't completely shaken the horrible cold; it's actually come back and settled in my throat and lungs. Between the ice and that it's been hard to do more than I'd usually do, so I've spent some of the last week catching up on the remedial stretching and yoga I should be doing for my feet and hips. I'm trying to be ok with it - last year and the year before, ice and illness stopped me running completely. This year I'm viewing it as a blip in the schedule, not a dead loss.

However, we've had some really bright spots this weekend and that makes up for everything!

Friday 16th: 1hr 20 Yin Yoga: I'd been promising myself this session for a while but had to cut it short a bit as I was anxious about getting to school in bad weather, particularly since I'd promised to pick up one of the neighbour kids too.

Saturday 17th: Karate: Felt much better and spent some of my time working on doing combinations whilst sparring with the little ones - making sure I complete a block with a reverse punch, that kind of thing. Not doing terribly well with my kata, but it's early days yet.

Sunday 18th: The roads were scarily icy so I skipped USWIM with a heavy heart and worked through some Hatha for the core and spine.

Monday 19th: Too icy for running, too bored of yoga, so worked on my kata for a while. I forget how much hard work it is even when you do it really slowly!

Tuesday 20th: A real low with the head cold and weather: a 30s plank. Nice to know I can still pull that out of the bag whenever, though.

Wednesday 21st: Karate: hideous but fun; mostly due to a tough warm-up. Cheers, 8yo Cadet Leader.

Thursday 22nd: USWIM Blackburn: A really satisfying session; I feel like I'm improving every week and starting to get an actual feel for the water rather than wallowing through it. My timed 750m was 20s slower than last time but I'm not dissatisfied with that - different pool, different lane mates, and a cold. Still under 16min so I'll take it!

Friday 23rd: An overly busy day so just 10mins of Hatha for the feet - it turns out if you do Downward Dog with your feet braced against the wall, it hurts almost as much as Broken Toe pose.

Saturday 24th: On Thursday, Youngest (4yo) announced that she'd decided she wanted to be a Cadet Leader, which completely took me by surprise - Eldest has never shown any interest (she prefers not to be the centre of attention, she says). Sure enough she went and asked Sensei before class on Saturday, who took her at her word and let her try out. For that I'll be forever grateful, whatever Youngest decides in the future. So picture my tiny daughter at the front of a class of thirty-odd students, every single one older than her by a significant amount, all grades, lots of adults - and she took us all through the regular stretching routine with barely any help. Clear, loud enough without shouting, completely confident - I was absolutely blown away. So were we all. She got a huge round of applause afterwards and is looking forward to doing it all over again! She won't be able to take part in Cadet Leader classes for a while as she's just not physically big enough. I don't know if that'll put her off or give her focus: whatever happens, I hope she's understood that she has every right to give things a try.

Awarded by the whole class!

On Saturday afternoon lovely Rach came to visit as Eldest is due to take her ASA Level 7 Swimming Award soon and had asked for some help with her butterfly. It was a fairly quiet "kids' fun session", so there was much larking around on floats and trying to unglue Youngest from the wall (she's just come out of her armbands and lacks confidence), but I think some progress was made in both butterfly and freestyle.
 
Our Sunday lake swim deserves a post and photos all of it's own, so tune in later for "how I screwed up and still got a temp PB".

Monday, 19 January 2015

This Girl Can (point out some stuff)

 This fab embroidery is from the Mo Makes Stuff Tumblr. I suck at Tumblr and hope I've attributed this work correctly.

So, many of you will have seen Sport England's new campaign to get women into sports, This Girl Can. The "sassy celebration of active women everywhere". You might have read some articles about it, too - maybe here at The Conversation or the same piece at The Guardian. The Times asks "Can you keep up with these women? and tells us that the women featured are "normal". The Independent celebrates it as "not body shaming". Fellow Bear Vikki wrote about it this morning and after a brief chat on Twitter I realised that this video is a bit of a Rorshach Blot - we're all seeing different things beause of who we are, where we're from, the sports we're into and so on. Vicki and I both agree that initial thought - encouraging more women into sports - is a good one. There are things about the video that are great, and I will absolutely give that credit where's due. So don't tell me to shut up and appreciate the crumbs that have been dropped, the "at least it's got women in!" schtick - I see those, thank you very much.

I'm not taking offence here, this is not me waving my arms and complaining. It is a positive step. But I've watched it a number of times now and I have questions. And a few comments.

Let's take it apart word by word, shall we?

"This".
Ok, which this are we talking about? I see white women, I see black women (hurrah for this piece of inclusion!). I see some wobbly women (tick box), I see a young woman who appears to have Downs Syndrome (again, hurrah). I see the age split is around 90% skewed towards women between the ages of 20 and 30 - there's an older runner, and I give you my huge and delighted hurrah to see the Mersey Mermaids, a group of swimmers who sometimes frequent my home puddle and are friends of friends (we've probably shared a changing tent from time to time!). As an aside, I of course am thrilled to see Open Water Swimming represented. I'll come back to age representation in a minute.

Here's the but: where are the Asian women? I don't see a single other skin-colour group represented here. This is a huge sticking point for me; given that I live sandwiched between Blackburn and Bolton, it was immediately obvious that this section of women is just completely absent. Would it have killed Sport England to find a brown face? Or even, heaven help us, any woman in hijab (without conflating race and religion)? Because you really can get all sorts of sportswear that takes account of that requirement, whatever the current ignorant wrangling over it at Olympic level. You try telling Elham Asgari that you can't do sports in religious dress. And not only a lack of brown faces, but no-one from an ethnic group originating from further East than that either (apologies, I know that's very clumsy but I'm stuck for the right word). C'mon, we all know Britain is more than white and black.

Another but: yes, there is one girl with Downs and that's great, I'm so glad she's there. But...she is pretty much able-bodied. Paralympic sport is huge and well-respected by the general public in the UK, it's not like it's unheard of. Were only "normal" numbers of arms and legs and amount of mobility required? Several of the groups of women in the video are shown more than once - was there really no room to cut eg one Zumba scene for one shot of a wheelchair user? Someone with a cane? Someone using the pool hoist? After the success of the Paralympics, I feel it's even more important to include folks who aren't able-bodied just going about their "ordinary" sports for fun - you can't just wheel people out on the telly to get medals and be done with it. Not everyone is about the competition (and don't get me started on "inspiration porn" - watch or read Stella Young's fantastic TED talk on it if you've not come across that before).

Another representational but: I've got no answers for this one but would like to hear/read debate: how do you ensure inclusion of various sexualities/gender status in a visual medium? How could you make the video say to lesbian, bi and trans women "yep, you're welcome, come play sports!" I don't think this video allows itself to do that because as the writers of the article in The Conversation point out, the language used is that of sexual attraction - it's speaking from the male gaze AGAIN: "Sweating like a pig, feeling like a fox".

And yet what we actually see - particularly from the lovely Mersey Mermaids, which is my favourite bit, but also in various other parts - is women, together, creating friendship and having fun. This is the best thing about sports, for me (and not necessarily just with women, either!). Even if you run alone, you enthuse with other people about it. Does anyone give a crap about how sexy they are when they're about to plunge into freezing cold water? I bloody don't, I'm having a laugh with my mates and thinking about cake, ffs. I know I look flipping silly in my gi, everyone does. Only Bruce Li makes that stuff look good. Ultimately, this language slapped over the top is why I haven't shown the video to my daughters. They're four and nine years old and they LOVE their sports. They don't give a flying rat's ass how other people see them, let alone whether anyone finds them attractive whilst they're doing it. Why introduce that concept at all? You could take those words away, focus on a few more faces rather than wobbly bits, and have a much more appealing, approachable film. In fact, Sport England have done posters as well which are much better in terms of gaze:


But it still strongly suggests there's something to hate about bodies in the first place, which isn't a message I want to put in front of children.


"Girl"
Well, this properly set my teeth on edge; I dislike the term applied to all women in general. "Girls" are my children; the children I train with at karate; the junior tri club that blasts past me in the Quays every Summer. I know some people like it as an in-group word amongst friends - I probably use it myself from time to time, although I tend to say "ladies" and more often "people" or "folks". But to use it in a national, government-sponsored campaign to describe half the population? Doesn't work for me. It's automatically exclusive of older women (I am 38, I haven't been a "girl" for a long time. And don't you "calm down, dear" me, Mr Cameron, this whole thing smells of you and your mates). It's interesting that Twitter suggests "patronising" as an autofill after "#thisgirlcan", so clearly I'm not the only one that this has irritated.

I'm sure it was intended (again, as the authors of The Conversation article suggest) to suggest light-heartedness, but it's been used so many times to infantilise and dismiss women's sport that it really was the wrong choice here. It can also be read as only appealing to the age group most represented in the video - the 20-30y group. Where are the actual girls? Large numbers drop out of sport as they hit tween and teen years, so it's particularly disheartening not to see anyone from this age group in the video. My karate class contains girls from 4-18 years old - these are girls who really can! And there are plenty of us women, too, including our sensei. These women can, too.

Whilst I'm on that particular point, what's with the "I kick balls, deal with it" line? Even in the dojo and the boxing ring, women taking part in sport is not a threat to men, why imply that? Unless there's some terrible underlying fear that allowing women's football to get some limelight will decrease male footballers' salaries (please insert :rolleyes: here).

"Can"
I've already taken issue with the subject of outright disability representation, so I want to look at other problems with accessing sport.

Ability: The women in this film are almost all working quite hard, with the exception of the swimmers, who are having fun. The others are "sweating like a pig", in fact. There are plenty of women out there who simply cannot do that, and lots of sports which help your health without sweating til you drip. Now yes, aerobic exercise is good and fun and all that. But this heavy emphasis on cardio bothers me. Where are the yogis? The walkers? The tai chi practitioners? The power lifters? The tango dancers? Women, particularly older women, need strength building exercise to protect bones and build flexibility and balance to prevent falls. That's a whole component of exercise left out. Why? Because I guess it doesn't fit the narrative of sweaty=sexy.

Time: Women are disproportionately child-carers, senior-carers, and in lower-paid and/or shift pattern work. When I look at my local leisure centre timetable, I'm frequently disappointed to see classes at tea time and childrens' bed time (6-8pm) - I suppose that suits people who go straight after work, but it's a barrier to me. And hell, I'm enormously privilaged to have a partner who gets home generally on time and frees me up several nights a week to attend Masters. I know instructors have a life too and aren't keen on teaching late classes. But time - and timing - is a problem.

Cost: Again, I'm very privilaged in this regard. Not as much as some folks - I couldn't afford a triathlon bike, to travel abroad to swim, to have a one-to-one coach or diet plan. Event prices scare me and I have to save up for them. I can pay for four classes a week, website access and all the kit I need (and some that's nice to have!). Even I balk at the PAYG price for the gym, though, and that's with a subsidy - nearly six pounds just to run on a treadmill for half an hour? A monthly fee is of course cheaper if you can get there often enough to make it pay for itself, but if you work shifts and care for kids or an elderly person (or both, as is becoming more common), or you have unpredictable health issues yourself...how can you justify paying up front for it?

You could of course take up running, the ultimate "low cost" activity. Which still needs decent trainers, enough kit to keep you warm/cool enough, and a babysitter if your work hours are the same as school hours. Some people just don't have this money available: if you have to choose between heating and feeding your kids, trainers are off the table. May I point you towards A Mile In Her Shoes if you have spare kit?

Safety: Look really, really hard at the video. Tell me how many of those women are outdoors, alone, and not in an inhabited area. I count one. Everyone else is penned in (courts, halls, pools, lighted pitches, leisure centres, housing estates), and with other people. Even the swimmers go out in a big group, which is the right thing for them to do because cold water carries a risk, of course. All the cyclists are in spinning class, not out on the road. So how about women who live in unsafe areas? Any area can potentially be unsafe - even I've had a driver pull over to ask directions and then shout abuse at me when I ran past, not realising he was attempting to speak to me, and that was on a main road with lots of traffic and housing. My husband has had similar in quieter spots and I don't feel comfortable running the routes he does because of that. I'm scared silly of cycling where I live because it's so narrow, hilly and overparked that I just don't have the fitness or the awareness to get around safely.

That brings us back to cost and opportunity - you may not be able to afford a running club membership so you can go out in a group, or be available at a time you can find a companion to run with. Or you might be a misanthrope like me and prefer your own company, but be unable to go alone. Women-only sessions can be helpful for this aspect but that very much depends where you live - there are none at my local leisure centre and you can't even search the town's website for women-only sessions anywhere in the borough. But overall, like the lack of actual girls in the film, I'm saddened to see sport represented only by what you can afford and limited to indoor, group activities in the main.


In conclusion, I'd love to say I was thrilled with this campaign. I think it's more than needed, I think it's a stab in the right direction and they've made at least some attempt at inclusion. But there are some mistakes and omissions here that need attention. I would like to point out that Sport England got £10 million quid's worth of funding for this. I've worked alongside local sport inclusion projects in the past (alongside, meaning: I followed their money and accountability) that got far less cash and managed to be more thoughtful, and that was ten years ago. So what gives, Sport England?


ETA: Please note that it's not my intention to attempt to speak for or represent any of the "missing" groups I've listed here. It strikes me that if *I* - who hasn't worked anywhere near the area of sports inclusion for a decade - can see glaring omissions of intersectionality, then a body paid such a lot of money to do it right has no excuse not to. And it's up to me to lift my voice and ask those questions of that body: as a woman, as an older woman, a parent, a neighbour, a compatriot, and not least as a person who enjoys sports.